why do all good things come to an end?

My dearest braces, thanks for being there for me throughout all these years. Can't believe we've been together for 2 years and 5 months. You've been a wonderful companion. I'll miss you oh so badly.

rest in peace.

17.12.09

one of my dreams <3

Inshaallah in 5 years time.

:)

Okay, so I've kinda promised myself that I'm gonna work really really hard to get straight A's this semester. I'm taking 3 literature subjects, research method, islamic aqidah, arabic level 3 and skills (tennis) and it's definitely gonna be one hell of a semester. I will have A LOT of reading to do. Like, A LOT.

I'm gonna be such a nerd.

Shoot, I'm gonna be so busy. I've never taken so many heavy subjects all at once. Shoot. And I wish to get straight A's this semester? Damn..

But anything is possible through hard work, RIGHT?

tennis oh tennis

Okay, there are just so many things in my head and I really need to get at least half of them out of my brain. First I wanna talk about tournament. It was quite fun because it was an Open one. I lost to a 14-year-old Indian girl who was a champion for selangor juniors apa benda tournament ntah and also just got back from a tournament in Indonesia. Damn. Mestilah kena bantai teruk punya tadi kan. She was really good and was quite humble so I didn't despise her or whatsoever. Heheh. She's a lot bigger than me.. and doesn't look like 14 at all. 23 ada lah kot. Haih, kids and teenagers nowadays grow up SO fast!

Okay, I'm not afraid to admit that I really miss uia. I mean, I miss going to classes, being busy with all sorts of activities, being stressed and being scared of certain lecturers. And I miss my friends.. I haven't seen them for 2 weeks. And today was Nisa's sister's wedding and the fact that I haven't gone to her place while others have, I just feel really bad because she is one of my really close friends. But I couldn't avoid the tournament so I didn't have a choice. Nisa, sorry sangat sangat sangat. Kalau awak tak pegi wedding kakak kite pun nanti, kite faham kenapa. Sorry sangat k? And I really miss Aishah too although she doesn't study here with us anymore.. but I look forward to watch New Moon with her, together with the rest of the girls! :) Best best, I can't wait. Hehe. And of course, I miss uia because I miss him. I've been feeling SO far away from him so I want this feeling to stop immediately, please. I can't stand it anymore. It's kinda driving me nuts.

So, I THINK I'm taking these subjects next semester; american lit, english lit 20th century, methods of da'wah, arabic level 3, skill: tennis, and um.. I can't remember the other two. Hehe. Doesn't matter. Of course, it will be a very busy semester since it has Arabic.. whew. I've learnt my lesson so I hope history won't repeat itself. Seriously, I don't ever want to sangkut ANY subjects, not even Arabic, please. Walaupun agak cekik darah credit hour 0.5 je tapi kalau sangkut, kena repeat, tu yang masak tu. But yeay, I know who can help me with Arabic. Heheheh.

Lately I've been listening to T.I.'s Whatever You Like I and I must I'm really addicted to this song. I can practically SING this song because I know the lyrics so damn well. So not me. Pastu the other day I watched Step Up 2's final dance RELIGIOUSLY on youtube. What the..? I'm not into dancing! Najwa is!

Blame the holidays, man. Seriously. Duduk rumah lama2 tak keluar jumpa orang boleh jadi orang lain tau tak? Boleh jadi frankenstein. Frankenstein! I love frankenstein. I should do a 2nd round of the story lah.

OH yea! I have an announcement to make.

Lagi 2 minggu cabut braces! Sedih ke tak sedih? I don't know. Tak puas lagi la spend time dengan braces ni. Macam mana ni? :(

Hmmm.

Okay I think that's all for now. I'm out of words already.

My so-called coach sempat record ni. Nothing much pun. Dalam ni opponent kasi banyak bola out. Teruk seyh main petang tadi, but at least I had fun. :)

I'm okay to sink

My kind of music.

yadda yadde doo

I think today was nice.

Why?

Because I ate 15 Ikea meatballs. Nyumm. A nice treat indeed.

Maybe I'm going back to uia on Tuesday.. to be precise, tomorrow. Lovely indeed. Should I join the tournament or should I not? I still haven't made up my mind and no one is helping, not even Alya. "Mashaallah budak ni, suka hati u lah. I kat cameron ni hehehehe". Siyut.

Actually my hols have been a bit boring.. which have led me to the crazy, psychotic part of me, to the point where my mum says "Diyana, penatlah aku cakap dengan kau". No one has ever said that to me except my mom and my sisters, although my sisters say it in a nicer way, "Diyana, senyaplah!", they still mean the same.

The other day I was playing with my mom's scissors in my room and when my 2nd sister saw what I was doing, she went back to her room and said "iih diyana.. takutnya.. diyana ni weird la..", because what she saw was, here comes the psychotic part, I was cutting my fingernails with the sharp n thin scissor blades. I just needed to entertain myself.

I remember when I was a kid, probably when I was 7 or 8, I used to loove biting my toenails. Yes, with my own teeth of course. I think no one knew about it cos I used to do it secretly. It was like a drug. There was always a need to bite them. Unfortunately one day I got kantoi-ed by one of our maids.

Haha. Talking about maids, today was also the day of mengemas harta2 karun. I found Kak Fitri (one of our maids. yes, Fitri. haha!)'s wedding card which dates back in 2000. My mum was fascinated ("yeh? kad kahwin dia?? ada kat Ana??") to see the card and it suddenly brought back old memories of me and Kak Fitri. She was always kinda lively, probably because she was quite young back then. I wonder how she is now. She probably has 3 kids aged between 3 to 8. Haha memandai je aku ni kan.

I found some really cool old stuff. Photos, writings, cards.. and a lot more. Not to forget, my drawings and paintings. I miss the old days. The days where I would sit in my room with the door locked, and paint or draw for hours. I don't and can't have that as often as back then now. It's kinda sad, isn't it? It's like I've lost one of the foundations of my life. I simply miss that particular part of my life, of me.

And then there are about 20 to 25 Vogue magazines that I still keep! God, help me. Where can I chuck those magazines? Buying Vogue was like an expensive drug. Do you know how much one costs? Twenty plus! Sometimes thirty plus. Crazy. Gila fashion punya pasal. I just felt the need to keep myself updated. Style.com was my favourite website. Carolyn Murphy, Jessica Stam, Carmen Kass and Isabeli Fontana were among my favourite models. Roberto Cavalli, Christopher Bailey, Oscar de la Renta, Jean Paul Gaultier, Karl Lagerfeld, Issey Miyake and Elie Saab were among my favourite designers. I was such a sucker for the world of fashion. Thank God I was not alone. There was Farinna Ford. There IS Farinna Ford. Hehe. She loooved Tom Ford much, or maybe she still does. Hehe.

Good old memories.. Those were the days.

"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young". This is someone's shoutout on facebook and I must say, I whole-heartedly agree with him. I am scared of getting older. I always wonder what future holds for me. The most scary thoughts would be.. will I be alone or will I really be with someone? Who will I work for? Or will I work alone? Will I be a wife and a mother? Where will I live? How will I look when I reach 30 or 40 or 50? Will I still play tennis? Will I be a grandma? I'm seriously scared of all that. I really am.

I once blogged about the moving images in my head. They're like short films. Actually they're just my imaginations, and yes, I still imagine them. Sometimes they make me happy, that's why I never forget them.

The audible colours of the dimmed land most of the time spark a handful of feelings from my chest.

Gosh, I simply love that sentence.